Re-understanding Misunderstandings: Truth and Consequences By: Dawn Johnson – The Self-Esteem Queen™

Re-understanding Misunderstandings: Truth and Consequences
By: Dawn Johnson – The Self-Esteem Queen™

All of us know what it feels like to be misunderstood.
Communication is extremely important to us, and when we are unable to do that effectively, is it frustrating. A lot of our frustration, however, can be alleviated once we re-understand what it means to be misunderstood. There are two things that we need to do in order to come to that understanding: first, we must accept the truth; secondly, we must accept the consequences. That seems simple enough, but I will show you how difficult this ends up being for so many of us.

Accepting the truth means exactly that: not sugar coating what we are and what we do. Sometimes, misunderstandings happen when we want others to accept us in spite of our flaws, and we are frustrated when they do not. We want people to “accept us for what we are.” That is fine. You have the right. However, have you accepted you for what you are? Perhaps it’s time you come to grips with the fact that people may not go off on you not just to “pick” on you, but because you do not accomplish what you said you would. That is not a misunderstanding—rather, that is your lack of acceptance of truth. Truth means being able to see both our redeeming qualities and our lack thereof—and accept them both.

Do not expect people to read your mind or your body language.
Everybody cannot do that. I have a degree in Communication Studies and consider myself to be a pretty good judge of verbal & non-verbal communication, however there are times when I myself am stumped by someone’s behavior. You have to clearly communicate the truth—whatever that is at the time—to the person you are attempting to make it clear to. This is part of accepting the truth; if you cannot communicate clearly, then your odds of being misunderstood grow exponentially. Make your points clear and firm. Remember, it is better to be clear about your truth than merely making a statement that conveys the opposite. People will appreciate the clarity in which you bring truth, and whether they like your points or not, you will be understood.

Having accepted the truth, the next point is to accept the consequences.
In other words, once you have stated truth, do not slander it, twist it, or contradict it if it comes back to bite you on the behind! Be willing to live within the courage of your convictions. If you happen to live amorally, then be prepared to be called to the carpet on your actions if you happen to speak on another’s morality. Note those that are considered “The Goths”, for example. Their clothing, hair styles and actions clearly communicate that they do not wish to conform to the standards and styles of what could be called “mainstream America.” They choose to adapt the persona of outsiders. They have that right. They have accepted truth. It would be a rejection of the consequences, however, if they were to attempt to get a job in mainstream America looking in that manner. Certain décor and certain actions remove you from consideration amongst those who look at you. Accepting the consequences means that you are prepared to live outside of those parameters.

Once you have accepted those consequences, find others who are willing to live within your world-view.
These are those who you shall find comfort, friendship, and perhaps even commerce with. Aligning yourself with like-minded individuals is one of the ways that one can embrace truth, brave the consequences, and re-understand the misunderstandings of others.

Beware. While truth is not relative (despite others attempts to make it so), consequences are. Living within ones convictions can cause pain and suffering, not because you are misunderstood, but rather because you are understood. It takes courage to live within one’s convictions, but to paraphrase Thomas Jefferson, “the man who relies upon truth has nothing to fear from lies.”

Because we are all different, being misunderstood is a natural part of the human condition, and it as impossible to prevent it from happening as it is to prevent aging or hunger.
However, accepting the truth as it is and accepting the consequences of those truths goes a long way toward helping others to understand us—and even helps them to re-understand why they misunderstood us in the first place.

© 2007 Dawn R. Johnson – “The Self-Esteem Queen”™

ABOUT THE AUTHOR - A celebrated servant-leader, internationally recognized motivational speaker, author, business coach & small business consultant, serial entrepreneur and spoken word artist, Dawn Johnson, the acclaimed “Self Esteem Queen”™, is one of today’s leading experts on transformational leadership, entrepreneur personal development, and self-esteem enhancement.

To learn more about Dawn’s products and sign up to receive FREE tips on business, personal enhancement, visit her site at http://www.selfesteemqueen.com.

NOTE: You’re certainly welcome to “reprint” this article online as long as its contents remain unaltered (including the “about the author” info at the end), and you send a copy of your reprint to dawn@selfesteemqueen.com.